Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign posted on the glass door that read: “DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG!”.
Inside he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor besides the cash register.
He asked the store manager: “Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?”
“Yep, that’s him,” he replied.
The stranger couldn’t help but be amused. “That certainly doesn’t look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?”
“Because,” the owner replied. “Before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him.”
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A man received a parrot as a gift, but the bird had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.
The man tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to clean up the bird’s vocabulary. Finally, he was fed up yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back.
He shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. So, in desperation, the man threw up his hands, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed.
Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he’d hurt the parrot, the man quickly opened the door to the freezer.
The parrot calmly stepped out onto his outstretched arms and said: “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behaviour.”
The man was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude and just as he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behaviour, the bird continued: “May I ask what the turkey did?”
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